The Positive Impact of Social Distancing in 2020: Reconnecting with Family (Interview)

We are in the final stage of a difficult year, which has brought us face to face with some
situations in which the base word was Adaptation. He reminded us how
health is important, how much hygiene matters, and we have undergone a
test suprem: let's love those close to us by keeping our distance. The situation
currently, with social interaction spaces closed and fear of
Appropriate behavior towards others leads people to avoid even parks or
playgrounds.

We already know that Nowhere
It's better than home,
but when you have to spend almost all your time in your own home,
things that are now forbidden become more desired than ever. To
find out how we can make this period a little more pleasant, how we can
learn positive things from everything we experience, we find out from CătăLina Hetel, psychotherapist.

•         Home
  This is the place where we don't wear any masks. How should people act
  because all the fear and anxiety that this situation generates, so as not to
  Do you create conflict, unwanted situations in the family?

„Home” „in the family” is that „we” and "ours," personal and secret, hidden
after protected. Outside the house, we present ourselves in a certain way, with a certain
outfit, with certain manners, with a certain attitude that often disappears
When we cross the threshold of the house, out of comfort or simplicity. At home, we become ourselves
internally, perhaps tired, perhaps scared, perhaps unserious, perhaps otherwise. The work of
home has become a big challenge in itself and an interweaving of different spaces.
The online chat screen shows glimpses of personal life, hidden from
a habit in the eyes of the world. Furniture corners appear, things we would want
hid and also family members who happen to pass by, voices of
children or the dog's barking.

In many cases, it is desired that the two worlds, at home and outside the home,
kept at bay. We come home and leave work things at the door. It's just that
At this moment, it's difficult to make this separation anymore.

On the other hand, the anxiety of this period in which we must accept
that we are vulnerable, perhaps even mortals, that we must submit to a
rules that we consider arbitrary or simply impossible to
we do everything we want, as we learned it can be done, it must be downloaded
somewhere and where we manage to talk about our vulnerabilities and weaknesses
more than home.

Home it has thus become a place with everything, a place where we take refuge from the outside world but also a place where we are forced to
downloading everything we would otherwise download at work, in the friend group, or else
and simply walking through the park. It's a new situation that we have to
we live as such, considering that the other family members are also going through
more or less through the same problems.

In a family, tolerance and negotiation are necessary.
space. Now more than
anytime, the house is filled to capacity, and we must learn to
we tolerate each other in the family and negotiate our desires and needs. Now more
More than ever, everyone's space and time have become clear. Each member
needs their workspace, even children.

Personal time has become a time when we are allowed to put into space
with its own problems and needs, while being careful not to flagrantly violate
the other's time and the other's space. Tolerating the person next to us, with
its problems and needs, is a vital exercise for survival in
family. To survive together, we must also learn to let go
here and let's be realistic with our demands of the other members, so
We understand that they can support us but they cannot replace an entire world that we have
left it at the door.

This is a period when we can truly become adults and learn to
happy endings at home, letting go of unrealistic expectations. Now more than ever
We need the support of the person next to us, but we only see them now.
weaknesses and limitations. Now more than ever, we will have to make peace with
our own needs and requirements and ask ourselves how many of our needs can be
fulfilled by other members of the family and what concerns ourselves. In a word, to go
We need to learn to ask, to negotiate healthily, and even to accept
refuse.

•       We are
  forced to maintain physical distancing, which is almost impossible for those who
  share the same home. But how can we compensate for the physical absence in the lives of those
  dear, which we will not be able to (at least it is not recommended) to visit by
  Holidays?

A major problem of the modern world is the intertwining of respecting the rule
and personal freedom. It's a broad discussion about rules and how much
these violate the freedom to do what you deem necessary. If
we manage to accept that rules exist to help us survive with
everyone, we will understand that we can visit loved ones if we agree to
We follow some rules. If we ask more people why they want to do
certain things, or will respond with „because that's how it's done” or „because that's how
”I want it." I think this period brings an exercise in maturity.

What is the answer to the question of why you want to visit loved ones?
If you miss them, you can call them every evening online. If you want
so you know what I'm doing, you can find out anytime, not just on holidays. If you miss me
Mom's cooking, you can ask her to cook for you, she'll surely be happy, and in
I can take you a surprise too. We actually need to ask ourselves what
I truly dream of these holidays and holidays in general. I have
reached in recent years to get lost in „musts” or „this is how it's done”,
forgetting the essence of meetings. If we choose to protect loved ones and not
hugging doesn't mean we can't have them in our minds and souls
holidays. I think the only thing we have to give up is
stubbornness in not respecting the rule. Respecting natural laws, we can
we do whatever we want.

•           Cum
  we can learn to transform this period when we cannot go out into places
  public care involves groups of people, in order to reconecta cu familia
  noastră?

Este o perioadă în care vrând nevrând stam împreună cu
cei de acasa şi este un moment bun să îi cunoaştem mai bine. Putem vedea filme împreună, putem să jucăm jocuri, putem
chiar bea un pahar de vin şi manca o pizza buna acasă. De multe ori am învăţat
să fugim de acasă şi să ne umplem vieţile cu lucruri din afară: vacanţe,
petreceri, lucruri minunate de altfel. Este nevoie şi de ele, dar parea ca
acestea au acaparat tot timpul. Acasă era doar un loc de dormit iar acum a
ajuns un loc permanent. Este într-adevăr o schimbare bruscă dar care e nevoie
să fie acceptată. Aşa cum e un timp al petrecerilor în afara casei, acum e un
timp al casei şi al familiei, să îl acceptăm ca atare.

Există tendinţa să ne plângem, să ne revoltăm, să nu acceptăm, când putem
doar să luăm ca atare această perioadă din viaţă, căutând oportunităţile care
apar. Avem privilegiul de a câştiga câteva ore în plus pe zi, ore pe care nu le
mai petrecem în trafic şi în care putem în sfârşi dormi, sau putem face o baie
sau putem scrie ceva ce ne doream de mult, sau putem citi ceva ce nu reuşeam
sau poate putem lucra la un proiect nou. Şi nu în ultimul rând, putem să îi
cunoaştem pe cei de lângă noi. S-ar putea să avem surprize plăcute şi să
descoperim lucruri frumoase şi oameni frumoşi.

•           In
  curând vin Sărbătorile de iarnă, vor veni și virozele, pe lângă virusul deja
  existent. Cum creăm armonie în familie, deși există teama permanentă pentru
  sănătate, locul de muncă, modul în care se desfășoară școala online?

Teama apare atunci când încercăm un sentiment de neputinţă. Ne vedem mici
în faţa lumii mari şi neprietenoase. Nu reuşim să ne vedem reuşind. Strategia
oamenilor de succes este să se vadă reuşind. Chiar dacă vom pierde jobul,
putem oricând găsi altul mai bun, chiar dacă copilul are şcoala online, putem
să suplinim ceea ce se întâmplă acolo cu propriile experienţe, cu propriile
informaţii. Uneori ne lăsăm pradă oboselii şi ne considerăm mai neputincioşi şi
mai nepricepuţi decât suntem în realitate. De fapt, oricând putem găsi soluţii
la probleme. Cât despre virus, e important să ne plasăm între cei care chiar
dacă se vor îmbolnăvi vor avea simptome uşoare şi evident că vor supravieţui.
Media încearcă în această perioadă să ne responsabilizeze arătându-ne dezastrul
produs de virus, dar de multe ori are ca efect creşterea angoasei. Se vorbeşte
puţin despre cei vindecaţi, dar noi nu trebuie să uităm că ei există şi că sunt
multi. Şi mai ales să învăţăm să ne plasăm mereu în tabăra învingătorilor.

•           Ajută
  petrecerea timpului liber în natură? Ce ar trebui să știe oamenii pentru a face
  mai mult genul acesta de ieșiri, în defavoarea locurilor publice aglomerate?

Natura a fost mereu un loc bun pentru încărcarea
bateriilor şi pentru îmbunătăţirea sănătăţii. Se ştie că cei care au avut curte cu verdeaţă au trecut
mai uşor perioada de închidere şi că mulţi preferă să evadeze la ţară, la curte
în locul apartamentelor. E important să ne găsim o oază unde să ne liniştim. In
fond natura ne aminteşte mereu de rădăcini şi ne ajută să înţelegem cine suntem
şi ce simplu e totul.